Page 53 - The Old Ratcliffian 2015 Magazine

OBITUARIES 53
Despite enjoying his time at Ratcliffe, he left with few
qualifications, and returned to Cardiff, to a job in a timber yard
in Cardiff Docks. The next short straw was his very unhappy
marriage, which lasted but a few months, and left his bride
with most of his possessions. However, Neil picked himself up,
and busied himself with charitable activities, helping at the
Citizens Advice Bureau as a volunteer, and driving minibuses for
a charity for the disabled. This led someone in the CAB to say
that they didn’t know why he didn’t study Law properly, and this
planted a seed which bore fruit. It wasn’t easy. Neil would get
up very early, walk three miles to Jury’s Hotel (where he washed
breakfast dishes) before catching the train to the University of
Glamorgan in Treforest, studying all day and into the evening,
and then travelling back to Cardiff on the train and walking three
miles home. He was never afraid of really hard work, whether it
was unloading horrible cargoes from ships in the docks, cleaning
offices, or delivering milk in the early hours of the morning.
But then, in the midst of all this, he was dealt the best card of his will inspire the rest of the family. I hope that for you, the horizon
life when he met June (or ‘Bert’, as she was diplomatically known
until he had established that his mother was going to have a
supportive attitude to his new relationship). With June came the
daughters, Karen and Lynne, who provided a new, loving family,
and then their children, Colin, Annette, Martin and Helen. Neil was
MICHAEL STOKES
OLD RATCLIFFIAN 1951 - 1955
1939 - 2015
Mike was born on July 28th 1939 into a loving family, where he
was the third of eight brothers and sisters. Following his two older
brothers, he was sent to boarding school at Ratcliffe College
in Leicestershire, where the Rosminians did a pretty good job.
Possibly with the aid of boxing lessons, this red-faced, short-
fused child grew into a kind, calm and thoughtful adult, with an
ability to appreciate the funny side of life, however difficult the
circumstances. He was forced by ill health to return home before
completing his schooling, and for some years to come, he had to
cope with serious asthma attacks.
When he was just eighteen years old, his father died, leaving
his mother to take decisions about the family on her own. The
expectation that Mike could continue in the family garage
business was not fulfilled when it had to be sold, and he went
to work with a firm of motor factors in City Road in Cardiff.
However, his love of vehicles continued throughout his life, from
his solo motorcycle tour of Europe and the kit car of his later
teenage years to the much more complicated machines that he
acquired and operated later on. Once, when the kit car was to
be used for a camping trip, his sisters remember the discussion
around the kitchen table as the list of provisions was drafted; it
was decided to take baked beans, because no one was sure how
to spell ‘spaghetti’!
He continued his working life with plant, a tradition which was
continued by his sons. He worked with County Diggers, Mid
Glamorgan Engineering Services, Cosletts and Horans, and was
proud to have become the Chair of the Contract Mechanical Plant
Association. Later in life, knowing all the wrinkles of engineering
always talking to his old family about his new family with evident
delight and pleasure, and was looking forward to the imminent
birth of the first grandchild. With June’s encouragement and
support, they moved from Cardiff to Felinfoel and made many
new friends in this friendly and supportive community, and in
Neil’s new workplace at Mitsui.
The worst card of his life was when, just six years ago, June’s
cancer returned, and Neil had to watch her brave, but ultimately
unsuccessful, efforts to defeat it again. So, when his own recent
diagnosis was made, he had few illusions about what was in
store, and was anxious to protect his family from distress. He
never lost his excellent sense of humour, though; when he was
explaining what he wanted done today, he reflected with a smile
that he had obtained a Distinction in Will Writing at Treforest.
Well, Neil, it has been a privilege knowing such a thoroughly
decent, caring and hardworking man, and I hope your example
has cleared, and that you can see again those that have gone
before.
Eulogy
contracts, he became an
invaluable Clerk of Works to
Cardiff Council. He showed
great attention to detail; I
vividly remember a holiday in
Paris a few years ago where
Mike was more interested in
taking pictures of paving slabs
and manhole covers than of
the usual tourist sights! He
continued as a Clerk of Works
into his seventies, and even
after he reluctantly retired,
he was called back, because
he was the only person who
really knew where various
services had been buried in
the middle of the city. When
he finally, finally retired, his colleagues gave the sort of party
that demonstrated real affection. Throughout his working life,
he was a real grafter, determined to get the job done, and he
made many staunch friends who remained in touch all his life.
But the centre of his life was his family. He met his beloved
Dorothy in the early 1960s; being a reticent man, the family
has never been certain quite how or where. Suggestions
include Bindles Ballroom at Cold Knap, and the Heathcock pub
in Llandaff. Anyway, in 1964, they were married at St Patrick’s
Church in Grangetown, near Dorothy’s work as a nurse at the
Royal Hamadryad Hospital. They set up home together at Dol yr
Erw in Llantwit Fardre, and this was the centre of family life until
very recently. When Dorothy became ill, Mike looked after her in
the most exemplary way for some five years, juggling care with
a full time job; when she died, something of his purpose in life
died with her.
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